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How To Deal With Crippling Fear When Nothing Else Works

How will he ever push that rock?

I happen to be the biggest worrier I know. I was aware of the problems this trait might pose before I started my own business. However, I plunged in head first, determined to take whatever life and business had to offer. Unsurprisingly, the world of self-employment tested my limits immediately, and can still knock me around now. In fact, I had little choice to accept that dealing with fear and worry was just as much a part of business as dealing with taxes. Tweet this

I might be a little on the extreme side, but I don’t think I’m unusual.

Many people, self-employed or otherwise, at one time or another, fall into a type of thinking known as “Magnification” or “Catastrophizing”:

Focusing on the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or thinking that a situation is unbearable when it is really just uncomfortable.

This is one of the ten thought “distortions” taught in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Sometimes there are serious risks, but what many people do is minimize the risks – sometimes ignoring real issues that should be cause for concern. A preferable alternative for those who don’t automatically minimize perceived risk, is to cut off the worrying, then take deliberate steps to eliminate as much real risk as possible.

What is real risk? It’s not what will possibly happen. That is virtually anything. Real risk concerns itself with what will probably happen. You can take specific action to deal with real risk.

You see ominous grey clouds.

What’s possible? Hippos falling from the sky (anything is possible and you can’t prevent anything)
What’s probable? Rain falling from the sky (take an umbrella to stay dry)

My tendency is to take anything that arouses fear and anxiety and think about it until driven to distraction. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m doing this until it’s too late. After I have spent thirty minutes drilling down into how the loss of one client is the beginning of an inevitable fall into poverty and homelessness, it takes a while to get motivated again. Something like this can kill an entire day. You might think that a fear of homelessness would cause me to work harder, but it actually causes me to freeze up entirely – dear caught in the headlights.

I have a strategy to deal with this type of anxiety and worry.

Are you ready for what it’s called?

Okay…

It’s called “nothing”.

Or at least it looks like nothing. Actually, what I do is give my brain a “timeout”, just like the kind my kids sometimes get. I basically say to myself, “Okay brain, you don’t handle this worry stuff very well, and there is a whole bunch of it at the moment. So instead of your usual flailing about, go on ahead and just take a seat on the bench for a little while.”

You may have been expecting me to add “Of course, I don’t say this out loud”, but sometimes I do say it out loud. The point is that I want to stop the dizzying thoughts that are bombarding me. Saying that little command out loud isn’t just another thought. It activates my sense of hearing. That means I to think about the sound of my words, even if the thought is “I can’t believe I have to do this ridiculous stuff”.

It’s abrupt and it forces me change course.

If I did nothing else, it wouldn’t work. When you give your brain (really just the part that does the worrying) a timeout, then you have to do something else. In my case, I do something physical. Sometimes I do yard work. Sometimes I clean around the house or take on a project that I have been meaning to do, but just didn’t get to yet. For instance, I resurfaced the driveway this weekend instead of worrying. The attention I must give to the physical task at hand is what replaces the worry. This gives me a break before I take on the next mental task – what to actually do about what I stopped my brain from worrying about.

When dealing with real risk, instead of either magnifying it (and getting scared to death) or minimizing it (and acting foolishly), seek to eliminate the unknown. Learn as much about what is real as possible. This means getting very specific about what you are afraid of. Then devise strategies to prepare for the actual amount of risk you face. The enemy of fear is knowledge. Tweet this

It’s good for mental health and success in business.

This is the time to make plans and think strategically. You don’t want to make plans while you are actively worrying about something. That’s the worst time for problem-solving. Instead of solving the problem, you are more likely to do whatever it takes to make the problem go away. That’s why I give my brain a timeout and do something else for a while.

One of the things I decided to do was “make a flow chart based on copywriting book”. This addressed one of my concerns. Another action item was “Email Mary”. These are simple things that can be done and they were both better than worrying, and neither would have occurred to me, or seemed useful, had I not given myself a mental timeout.

How do you deal with stress and anxiety? Tell me in the comments section.

Filed Under: Workhacks

This Amazing Shortcut Can Get You More Clients Than You Can Handle

By David Leave a Comment

The trick is talking to people!

Many freelancers place ads in the yellow pages, newspapers, and on the web, then wait for the business to come rolling in. This might work, but as you probably know, it’s very unreliable. On some days you might get four calls. Or you might go an entire week without any calls. Is there anything you can do to really kickstart your cashflow?

There really is a shortcut to getting more business. It’s so obvious, that almost everyone takes it for granted. You can nurture new clients whenever you want – just going about your day.

The most effective thing you can do as a freelancer is to go out and talk to other business owners.

When I started my first business I received this advice from my business coach and I was extremely resistant. I thought it would be scary and that I would be perceived as just another slimy sales person. The first time I did it was just as an experiment – just to see if I could do it. I’ll be honest, it didn’t go very well. However, within a week, I got used to the process, and I started getting new clients almost immediately.

Here is the key to making this work: You aren’t trying to sell anything. You simply want to talk to other business owners about their business and what needs they have. You should ask questions and then listen. Don’t do a lot of talking. You want to learn as much about the business owner’s needs as possible.

Eventually, once you have a good understanding of the business owner’s concerns, you can suggest how the services you provide may be able to help. However, don’t start by saying “I could do this or that”.

Instead suggest “This or that might work”.

It might take several suggestions, but when you come up with something the owner seems interested in; use his interest as an opportunity to transition to doing business.

You can say “I could put you in touch you someone I know who could do the work”. Then briefly pause and say “Actually, my business has helped some clients with that in the past. I could probably do it”.

This is very low key. You aren’t applying pressure.

The scenario I described above may, in reality, happen over the course of a few conversations. This is what you want. You want to build rapport. This disarms the business owner. By the time you get around to talking business, it will seem like a favor (that you get paid to do!), instead of a hard sell. My wife and I did this hundreds of times are we have been amazed at how effective it is.

Instead of endlessly debating the perfect text for a newspaper ad, we simply talk to people.

Which businesses should you approach?

This depends on the type of work you do, of course. Generally, you should approach business owners you already know and where you are spending money.

Why does this work?

If you spend money at the owner’s business, they are predisposed to trust you because you are familiar. Plus, they appreciate all the business you’ve given them.
You are expressing interest in their livelihood. It’s quite likely that you are the only person the business owner has talked to in weeks or months who has expressed an interest in his or her needs.
You are offering ideas for how to help their business. No else is doing this.

Objections you may have	Why you should try it anyway
Talking to business owners won’t work	It may not work every time, but you won’t know for sure until you try it. It has worked very well for others.
I’ll make a fool of myself	This is prediction many people make, but it probably won’t happen. Even if you actually do “make a fool of yourself”, so what? First, you’ll get over it. Second, you’ll get better with practice
The business owner will see right through me	This assumes that you have bad intentions. Your intention is to build rapport by talking to the business owner. You will then be offering a solution to a problem. There is nothing wrong with that. What will the owner think? That you have a business? That’s good.
I won’t know what to say	Maybe you don’t know what to say now. The important thing is that you remember you are merely having a conversation. No selling allowed! If you aren’t sure what to say, work out some questions to ask in advance. If you don’t know the business owner at all, you can start with simple questions like “How did you get started in this business”?

Filed Under: Earn A (better) Living Tagged With: getting clients

Supercharge Your Referrals With These 5 Steps

By David Leave a Comment

He just gave her an awesome referral!

The best way to get new clients is to get a referral from either someone you know. This is a shortcut to establishing trust between you and your prospective client because both of you already trust with the person making the referral. In geometry, this is known as the “transitive property”: if A = B, and B = C, then A = C. In your freelance business, this is simply good common sense!

You must be proactive in your pursuit of referrals. You can’t simply ask for referrals and then wait for an avalanche of new business. You will most likely be waiting for a long time, while everyone else has already forgotten. Don’t feel bad. People are busy. Your friends probably want to help, but they may not know how, particularly if they have never given a referral before (which is likely).

Do the following to maximize your referrals:

Make a list of everyone you know (friends, family, clients): Don’t leave out anybody. Don’t assume that one person or another may not know anyone. You have no idea. Plus, even if they don’t know anyone today, that doesn’t mean they won’t meet someone the following week.
Call or meet with each person on your list: Explain that what your business does and tell them you’d like to meet with a few business owners to see if you might be able to help them. It is important to be low key. The people on your list are your friends. If you want them to help you, be sure to take a casual approach.
Jog their memory: It is likely that when you initially talk to people, they won’t be able to think of anyone. This is normal, so you need to go one extra step. In order to jog the memory of the people on your list, you need to see the list of the people they know. Ask if they wouldn’t mind reviewing their contact list for people who might need your services.
Place a call now: When you find someone on their contact list, ask if they wouldn’t mind placing a call right now. You may be able to book appointments right on the spot.
Offer a free consultation: Help make the phone call easier for you contact by telling them you wish to offer a free consultation. Your first goal is to talk to the business owner. That is all you are trying to do with the referral. Once you are talking to your prospective client you can shift the conversation toward doing business.

Keep a list of everyone you meet and who referred you. When you first talk to business owners, you will likely begin by discussing how you both know the person who made the referral. You may trust that you’ll always remember who made the referral, but after you get a couple dozen referrals, it is very easy to forget.

Why you may not want to try this approach:

You probably think it’s too forward or too aggressive. Perhaps the idea of asking your friends to review their contact list seems invasive. Or maybe you are worried you won’t be able to do it, or that it simply won’t work.

Why you should do it anyway:

This approach is aggressive only if you act aggressive. Be casual and low-key. Don’t force anything on anyone. Remember, these are your friends. Not only should you always treat them respect, but they want you to succeed. They simply need a little guidance in how to help you. Plus, you aren’t asking your friends to sell anything. In fact, you are giving something away for free – your valuable time and expert advice in a free consultation.
Asking to review someone else’s contact list is invasive if you don’t know the person, or if you nag them about it. You are asking for permission. It is a suggestion in order to jog their memory. If they say no, then you should simply accept it.
If you fear that you can’t go through the process of asking and getting referrals, consider the alternative: you have no business. Keep in mind, you can make mistakes. You can even apologize to your friends if you feel the conversation didn’t go well.
If you believe the process won’t work, you have two choices: either do nothing, or try it and find out for yourself. If you don’t try this approach to getting referrals, you won’t get any new business. If you try and it doesn’t work, then you won’t get any new business. At least you gained experience. On the other hand, what if you get in touch with the people on your list and get 10 new clients, each paying $2000 for your services? You won’t know if you don’t try.

Filed Under: Earn A (better) Living, Featured Articles Tagged With: getting clients, referrals

Don’t Quit Before You Start Your Business: 7 Reasons To Not Be Discouraged

By David 1 Comment

If you haven’t read Can Your Hobby Be A Business? 4 Key Questions to Ask and Can Your Hobby Be A Business? 4 Key Questions To Ask do so now.

When you research hobby-based businesses, you might begin to feel a little discouraged. I know I did back in 1998 when I was thinking about starting a business selling t-shirts with wacky retro illustrations and “funny” sayings. Big mistake on my part. I checked out the sites back then and they seemed to be far more established and professional than anything I could do. Starting a business online was harder in the late nineties. However, I shouldn’t have given up so quickly because now millions of dollars are being made selling wacky t-shirts.

You may be similarly tempted to get discouraged when you see the competition. Here are 7 reasons why you shouldn’t be discouraged when you find other business doing what you want to do.

1. Every business takes time to grow: Some of the businesses I have examined below are well-established businesses. You won’t be able to start your hobby-based business and immediately dominate the industry. You will have to start small and build.

2. Every business requires knowledge (and you may already have it!): Most hobby-based businesses reflect a high degree of knowledge and familiarity with the subject. This is to be expected. No matter what type of business you create, a lot of knowledge is required. How many carpentry businesses are started by people who don’t know carpentry? The great thing about hobby-based businesses is that since they started as hobbies, you are more likely to already have a great deal of knowledge.

3. Fancy websites aren’t very hard to get: Some of the websites you will see are very elaborate. You may think there is no way you could ever build anything like that. You don’t have to! Trust me, getting the website is not an insurmountable task. There are pre-built eCommerce packages that you can customize. For instace, Zen Cart is free. If you don’t want to build or customize a website on your own, you can pay someone else to do it. You can find thousands of people to build your site on elance.com. And it won’t cost you an arm and a leg.

4. You may not need a website at all: Some people decide they want to sell their products on their own site. Other people find that sites such as eBay and Amazon are all they need. You can set up an eBay store. Or you can be an Amazon seller. You list all of your inventory, and then take advantage of the tremendous volume of website traffic both sites already get.

5. It’s good that other businesses exist: You may be tempted to think that if there are already many businesses doing what you want to do, then you are probably shut out. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Competition means that a market exists. If there are over a hundred or more businesses and sites catering to model train enthusiasts, then there is a huge market. That means your business idea is viable.

6. Inventory isn’t very hard to get: Some sites and stores have thousands, or even millions of items for sale. They didn’t collect these one by one. You can buy inventory wholesale. Another option is to forget about inventory and promote products sold by specialty stores or even Amazon. Most reputable online-sellers have affiliate programs. An affiliate program allows you to collect some of the money from a sale you referred to an online store.

7. The competition you fear today may be gone tomorrow: Even though there may be some very large websites (or brick and mortar storefronts) that are very established and successful, that doesn’t mean they’ll be around forever. What happened to CDNow? Where is Borders Books? Looks can be deceiving. You can slowly grow your business and be ready when the “big boys” check out.

Filed Under: Featured Articles, Fire Your Boss Tagged With: avoid discouragement, choosing a business, hobbies

5 Surprising Hobbies That Make Great Businesses

By David Leave a Comment

You want to start your own business. But what type of business? What do you enjoy? It’s likely that you enjoy a lot of things that you have never considered doing as a business.

Most of us think of hobbies as being things that are inherently not money-making. Many of us give up our dreams of being artists, musicians and athletes with the consolation that we can still do them as hobbies. In other words, we have been taught to believe that hobbies are things you do only for fun, but no one will pay you.

For now, don’t think about money-making potential and difficulty. Just allow yourself to think about your favorite hobby in a new way – as a potential business. And this isn’t just any business. It would be a business you would love to do. You already do it for free!

The internet has made it possible to convert hobbies into businesses on an unprecedented level. Stop thinking like it’s 1992. It’s 2012 and there is potential everywhere you look.

Make sure you read Can Your Hobby Be A Business? 4 Key Questions To Ask

The following hobbies are also working as businesses. As you read about them, think about how your hobbies might work as businesses:

Bird Watching: This is a hobby that is frequently mentioned as an example of an absurd hobby that could never be a business. Go to Bird Watching.com. Look at his site. He writes about bird watching and he sells products related to bird watching. He even sells software for bird watchers to catalog their photos, videos, and stories about the birds they have seen. Another bird watching site is Wild Bird Watching. This guy sells special anti-squirrel bird feeders as an affiliate for a “Wild Bird Superstore” that looks like the Amazon for all-things-birds. These are just two sites. They are many others. That means there is a market for this hobby! Why does bird watching work as a hobby-based business? Because you can sell products and it’s already working.

Record Collecting: This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I have crates of records that I collected as a teenager. I bought all of my records from used record stores where I grew up. Now, however, I can buy used records from anywhere in the world. If you love old vinyl records, you can start a business. Check out Records By Mail. They sells records in every genre. Another site, Vinyl Searcher, sells records in all genres, but with an emphasis on dance. Last year, I sold over $2000 worth of vinyl in under a month. I wasn’t trying to start a business selling vinyl. I just wanted some extra money (and space). Why does record collecting work as a hobby-based business? Because you can sell products and it’s already working.

Model Trains: If you collect model trains, there are plenty of ways to start a business. You can specialize by selling a particular brand of model trains (Lionel, for instance), or you can sell based on size (model trains come in four main sizes), or you can simply sell anything related to model trains. Discount Trains Online is an online store that sells all brands and all sizes of model trains. Everyday Goodz is an eBay-based business that sells model trains and model train accessories. Why do model trains work as a hobby-based business? Because you can sell products and it’s already working.

Dogs: Some people love dogs, or cats, or other pets. How many people ever try to make a business out of it? I’ll bet few people ever try. Does that mean you shouldn’t try? Of course not! Let’s consider some offline businesses for people who love dogs. You can be a “dog sitter”, someone who babysits someone’s dog while they are away. You can also be a “dog walker”. The Smiling Dog is a business that does both. Why does a love of dogs work as a hobby-based business? Because someone will pay you to do what you already do for free.

Golf: Winston Churchill said “golf is a great way to ruin a good walk”, but that hasn’t stopped millions of people from playing golf at every opportunity they get. How many people take their love, or obsession, with golf and make it a business? Plenty. And for good reason, because there is a huge market for both products and training. There are site and shops selling golf products. And there are people selling one-on-one golf training as well as teaching clasess. Why does golf work as a hobby-based business? Because you can sell products, you can train people, and it’s already working.

Certainly some hobby-based businesses are potentially more lucrative than others. But don’t let you beliefs or guesses about the money-making potential of your hobby stop you from researching the possibilities. You might be surprised by what you find.